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HE. An intimate conversation about the very same organ We speak openly about what is hidden, ”the book“ HE. An intimate conversation about that very organ ”- a witty and…

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LOVE AND LOVE: WHAT DIFFERENCE?
We all strive for love, for bright, deep, saturated feelings. And at the same time we want our feelings not to disappear with time, but only to acquire new qualities.…

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7 PHRASES WHICH A MAN WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU
They say that women love with their ears - declarations of love and pleasant words are important to them no less than actions. But we rarely say to our beloved…

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PEOPLE HUNTING. 3 WAYS TO STRENGTHEN Sense of SECURITY IN RELATIONS

In any relationship, one partner may require more attention and be “more in need” than another. Perhaps this need stems from the deep pain and inability of your partner to correctly express your desires and needs only because you have different attachment styles. SHOWER LOVE The theory of attachment was first proposed by psychologist John Bowlby. According to this concept, how you relate to people around you in adulthood is affected by the style of attachment formed in childhood. Whether a person develops a safe or insecure (disturbing, ambivalent) style depends on the atmosphere in which they were growing up, and how caring and attentive the family was. If it seems to you that your partner is somehow too keen to react to everything and as if sticks to you, or you feel that each of your actions is closely studied, like under a microscope, perhaps this is a familiar way, learned from childhood, to respond to pain and unpleasant experiences. Your partner may seem hypercritical to you and your relationship, but most likely the reason for this is the ambivalent style of affection that developed long before you met. Although the style of attachment is not the only factor in building relationships, it is an important part of how successfully close relationships are formed with partners, friends, and even children. The childhood of “ambivalent” people was filled with unpredictability and conditional love from significant adults. This means that love was a reward for certain actions and deeds. “Wrong” behavior led to the fact that parents stopped showing love, were angry or simply ignored the child. Or maybe the parents rewarded the child with a warm attitude only occasionally, thereby depriving him of a sense of security that only unconditional love gives. FEATURES OF PEOPLE WITH AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT STYLE The need to be in constant contact (messages, calls, words of love or approval). Uncertainty in the relationship. Periodic threats of severance based on fear. Inability to calm down, lack of self-regulation without partner intervention. The need to cling to minor details and delve into them. The good news is that if you love someone with an ambivalent style of affection, this does not mean that your relationship is doomed to failure. When you understand that your partner is arranged differently, you can try to treat him with special care and support. This can contribute to its healing and the formation of a sense of stability and comfort. Communicating with an “ambivalent” person, giving him safety and comfort, will not only help make your interaction more enjoyable, but will also open your loved one the path to healing and achieving healthy attachment. 3 WAYS WHICH YOU CAN HELP YOUR AMBIIVENTALLY ASSOCIATED PARTNER TO FEEL YOURSELF IN SAFETY 1. KEEP AND MAINTAIN COMMUNICATION Perhaps it is not your fault that your partner feels unsure. Try to understand that he / she also does not make an informed choice how to react, and this does not give him / her pleasure. Try to periodically arrange a “connection check”, reassuring your partner. So that he / she does not have time to mentally go the way from “Why does he / she not call?” To “He / she does not like me at all.” A few short messages or a quick call during the day can keep your partner calm for quite some time. If you quarreled or are not in the mood, assure your loved one that the conflict is not the end of a relationship and love. This can help your partner calm down more quickly and get their nerves in order. 2. DO NOT MAKE WAITING FOR ANSWER Even if your “ambivalent” partner realizes that sometimes he reacts to events too sharply, your being late for a meeting or a message left unanswered may lead him to unpleasant thoughts that you do not respect him and he is not priority for you. Be sure to let me know when plans change. Moreover, your loved one most likely does just that. An ambivalently attached partner is afraid to be abandoned; being late or not appearing often activates and aggravates these fears. 3. BE CONSISTENT The constant manifestation of love and affection supports the need of your loved one to feel that he is heard, appreciated and understood. One week literally flooding a partner with love and attention and being removed from another is the best way to increase his fears and insecurity, as this reflects the traumatic experience he had in early childhood. Generous love in one day and its complete absence for the next is a nightmare for people with an ambivalent style of affection. What may seem insignificant to you can mean a lot to your partner, so make sure you provide the feeling of confidence he needs.

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