ERRORS OF MEN IN BED
How attentive and sensitive are you? Do you like to experiment, or prefer not to discuss something new? Check yourself on the list! 1. ATTENTION AND CARE Here is a…

Continue reading →

WHAT DO THE DIVORED WOMEN SORRY
Divorce is always hard. And after it remains a sediment - self-pity, anger at her husband, accumulated resentment. What do women regret after a divorce and how to live on?…

Continue reading →

Why do men love bitch
There is such a phenomenon that some men choose bitchy women. The explanation is very simple - boredom. The reasons why men love bitch come from childhood. Our men are…

Continue reading →

Why does pain appear after breaking up with a loved one

Why is it painful to part with the person we love?

The pain after parting is natural. And the more your attachment, the more it will manifest itself. Especially if the initiative for parting came from a partner.

Psychologically, this mechanism grows from childhood, when we were small, helpless and completely dependent on someone else’s care. A child up to a certain age is completely dependent on his parents. If the baby loses maternal love, and the mother refuses to feed him milk, he will die. Therefore, for all of us, once, it was critically important to preserve this love.

When the mother for a long time leaves the baby in the room alone – he is in a panic. Since if she does not suddenly return, then he will die of hunger. He is really scared from this. So scary as if you were thrown alone in a boat in the middle of the ocean. Or worse. And by the way, for a baby, there are very real threats to life and health (for example, self-suffocation) if left unattended for a long time. So we really not only came into the world as a result of love, but also survived thanks to it.

And even in adulthood, in every threat of losing love, there is an echo of that fear, and the pain of parting that we sometimes experienced in infancy, when it seemed to us that our parents left us forever, leaving the room for 10 minutes … This is a threat to our survival . Parting with a loved one, as if threatening death. Therefore, when parting, so strong emotions and pain can appear that are incredibly difficult to restrain. Especially acute period of the first 3-7 days.

These sensations literally have a physiological nature. Anxiety, as if we were in mortal danger. I want to run somewhere and do something. To be saved. Or save.

Of course, in this state, the chemistry of love also plays an important role. After all, at each of the stages of the relationship, endogenous narcotic substances are released into the body, similar in effect to drugs. Therefore, after parting, it hurts literally. Because physical withdrawal from a lack of endogenous (excreted by the body) drugs occurs. But physical and psychological withdrawal has a limited duration.

If you understand the origins of this feeling, you can reduce their severity, realizing that this parting will not kill you. That you are not that little man who once depended entirely on someone else’s love. And you can survive and continue to live on, just as it was before. That it is not a threat to your existence. That you, since you were a child, have come a long way. And now you are independent and you can afford to live without experiencing the insurmountable need to depend on someone else’s mercy.

“NEW DADDY”: HOW TO SPEAK WITH A TEEN ABOUT SEX AFTER A DIVORCE
Two years ago my husband and I divorced, we talk quite peacefully, he spends time with his son (15 years). But recently, I have got a regular partner with whom…

...

CONSTANT CONSTITUTION. DOUBLE MESSAGES OF THE Daffodil
This is how it sounds: “I love you! You're cool! You have to change! Go away It's all your fault! ”And so in a circle. The irony is that the…

...

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT". ANTI-GUIDELINES FOR SOLVING SEXUAL PROBLEMS
This is the second article from the series "Anti-Guide psychologist Ilya Shabshin." The first article was devoted to marital disputes, the third will deal with problems between parents and adult…

...

SEX: HISTORY OF INVISIBLE WOMEN
In 2009, American Sarah McClelland published the results of a curious study in which men and women were asked to describe what “bad sex” means to them. Men replied that…

...