WE CHOOSE EACH OTHER NOT BY RANDOM. 4 FACTORS THAT DETERMINE RELATIONS
A man can seek us for years, but we will not reciprocate him. And sometimes one glance is enough to understand – this is it! Why is it that we choose a particular person?
1. EXTERNALITY AND SOCIAL STATUS
The first thing we pay attention to when we meet a person is appearance. Each has its own standards and ideas about beauty. If the appearance of a person is close to us and attractive to us, we want to get to know our partner better. As a rule, we make a choice based on intuition and our own feelings, and only then the mind turns on.We subconsciously choose someone who is close to us in external parameters and manner of behavior. Those who, at first glance, are “not at all mine”, we may also like, but it will take more time to move from the “friend zone”. You can understand that we have a desired object with the help of a fast heartbeat, an involuntary smile and doubts about what and how to start a conversation.
2. IMAGE FORMED BY THE SUBCONSCIOUS
In childhood or adolescence, we paint for ourselves the image of our second half, and in adulthood, our subconscious comes into play, which has been programmed for a certain type since childhood. And when the meeting occurs, with the coincidence of all parameters, our subconscious gives the exact result – “yes” or “no”. Think about which half you wanted for yourself, which you imagined, and then you will understand why exactly such partners surround you.
Remember the fairy tale “Pinocchio.” Pierre devoted poetry to the beautiful Malvina, admired her and was ready to come to the rescue at any second, but Malvina’s full attention was focused on Pinocchio. She taught him, punished, worried about him. Her choice was “struggle and competition”, and not “relations and reciprocity”.
It is very important for everyone that we are loved, cared for and taken care of. The origins of this lie in the parental home, where the most important relationships were maternal. Where mom always hugs, helps and does everything possible. Therefore, when we grow up, we separate ourselves from the parental home, and an emptiness of loneliness appears, which we want to fill up with a loving and caring man, like a mother.
3. SOCIAL PARTNER LOYALTY
Often couples form in a circle of like-minded people. We pay attention to those with whom we have a lot in common. As a result of this, cheerful people with an active lifestyle will look at their own kind rather than at a quiet and calm, and successful and business – at representatives with a similar level. But it also happens that people choose the opposite of themselves and live their whole lives happily, there are no strict frames or boundaries.
In my personal customer survey, the majority noted that their choice of the second half is influenced by the social loyalty of the partner. Namely, the ability to listen carefully, to show interest in his affairs and problems, to take part in the life of the object. Just as in fairy tales, good conquers evil, so in relationships, kindness and sympathy always attract and play an important role in choosing a chosen one.
4. MODEL OF THE PARENT FAMILY
The family model plays an important role. It is in the family that the basic principles of behavior with the second half in the future are laid down: the distribution of roles, household responsibilities, housekeeping, conflict resolution, and spending time together. For example, if a man’s mother had a caring housewife, then in a girl he would appreciate similar qualities.
As a rule, the partner evaluates the future chosen one or the chosen one, based on family experience, giving preference to an object similar to one of the parents. If in the family of one of the partners the family model left much to be desired, the action will come from the opposite. Unwillingness to repeat the parental plot will be an important goal, and in order to avoid loneliness, forces will be directed to the search for the opposite of their parent.