LOVE AND LOVE: WHAT DIFFERENCE?
We all strive for love, for bright, deep, saturated feelings. And at the same time we want our feelings not to disappear with time, but only to acquire new qualities. But unfortunately, the feeling that we take for love is not always deep and long-lasting. Sometimes it’s just love, which gradually disappears.
Paradoxically, love and love are fundamentally different from each other.Despite the fact that both love and love at first appear equally bright, associated with warm emotions, tenderness and passion, over time, the difference becomes noticeable. Love is short, but love can last a lifetime. Unlike falling in love, love is able to withstand many trials, a long separation.
Love passes through many stages over time. Transforms, grows. We can say that love is the first stage of love. But no one can guarantee that the next stage will come and love will turn into love.
What is the difference between love and love? In short, it can be described as follows: when you are in love, you are more focused on your feelings, your comfort and happiness, and love suggests that you first think about your loved one, about his needs.
Falling in love is a more selfish feeling. A lover is ready to accept only tender emotions from a partner, have fun, joy. A person experiencing love accepts a loved one in any mood and condition.
How to understand what feeling drives you and your partner?
BASIC SIGNS OF LOVE
There is an expectation that the partner will always be in a good mood, will be glad to communicate at any time, and in general should “carry you in his arms”. The main danger of idealization is that a person embraced by passion is not ready to adequately perceive the states and feelings of a partner, and the lack of reciprocity can simply be ignored or perceived as an insult.
2. DESIRE FOR FULL Possession
A man in love imperceptibly seeks to possess the object of his feelings and completely dispose of it. There is a desire not to share a partner with anyone, neglecting his personal boundaries and communication needs.
3. “PINK GLASSES”
Vivid emotions and passion bring newness to life, cause a surge of inspiration, a desire to “turn mountains”, change the usual circumstances. A man in love is in a certain chemical illusion, the euphoria created by his own body for a couple of months. After this time, the illusions begin to gradually dissipate and unpleasant surprises can await the lover.
BASIC SIGNS OF LOVE
1. ACCEPTANCE OF DISADVANTAGES
People who have been in a relationship long enough know well not only the positive features of each other, but also not the most pleasant aspects. However, they do not believe that these shortcomings are a hindrance to love.
2. SINCERELY SUPPORT
In love, partners rejoice at each other’s achievements. Ready to support your loved one in all endeavors. We can say that friendship, understanding, respect are the foundation of long love. And no competition and no desire to prove “whose cones are in the forest.”
3. READINESS TO GIVE
A loving person is ready to give free a lot of time and personal resources to his second half. When both partners are aimed at creating a comfortable life for each other, their relationship develops more harmoniously.
4. SELF-SUFFICIENCY OF LOVE
Many psychologists believe that love is a feeling. Long and developing. Falling in love is an emotion. Bright, shallow, explosive, fading over time.
PSYCHOLOGY OF RELATIONS
As a psychologist, I want to draw attention to some features of the options for the development of relations from the point of view of psychology.
OPTION NO. 1. MEANS OF LONELINESS
Often a person inspires the presence of warm feelings for someone to avoid being alone. These thoughts help fill the inner void, stop thinking about uselessness and loneliness. In such circumstances, a person can become addicted, which does not allow a normal life and development without his partner.
A romantic story can be tragic for someone. In this case, the feeling of emptiness and lack of self-sufficiency only intensifies.
Psychologists and psychotherapists know many cases when a painful relationship led to the emergence of deep depression and various mental disorders.
OPTION No. 2. INCREASE THE DEGREE OF EXTRAVAGANITY
It happens that during courtship people with pronounced emotionality commit “crazy”, unexpected and memorable actions. Cinema and literature are happy to support the myth that unusual and vibrant behavior is necessarily a sign of love. Often, girls expect from young people with whom they begin a relationship some extravagant actions. And if the boyfriend does nothing out of the ordinary, the girl begins to question his feelings. The style of behavior during courtship depends on the nature of the person, and not on the completeness of his feelings.