7 FAVORITE PHRASES OF THE MANIPULATOR. HOW TO RECOGNIZE GASLIGHTING
Gazlighting is used by people with narcissistic disorders, sociopaths and psychopaths to exhaust you to such an extent that you can no longer resist. You might be looking for ways to break the link with this toxic person, but all your efforts are spent to restore the sense of contact with reality that he is destroying and trust your feelings.
The most commonly used phrases that gas lighters use to terrorize and exhaust you:1. “YOU ARE GOING OUT OF MIND / YOU ARE HEAD NOT OK OR YOU HELPFULLY NEEDED HELP”
Translation: “You do not have problems. You just figured out what I really am under the mask, and you are trying to hold me accountable for my dubious behavior. It would be better if you doubted your own sanity and believed that the problem is in you, and not in my deceit and manipulations. As long as you believe that you need help, I don’t have to change and work on my mess in thoughts and behavior. ”
Gazliters portray doctors, grinning at victims as naughty patients. Explaining the presence of emotions by a mental disorder, the abuser pathologizes the partner and belittles him. An even greater effect is achieved if the victim manages to provoke bright emotional flashes in people to demonstrate to those around him who has problems with his head. Rapists push their victims to the limit to provide evidence of their instability.
“Most of the victims of violence reported that their partners actively contributed to the deterioration of their mental health or the use of alcohol / illegal substances. The victims stated that the partners threatened to use information about mental health or substance use against them when communicating with government officials (lawyers, guardianship authorities). ”
2. “YOU JUST ARE NOT SURE IN YOURSELF AND YOU ARE REASONED”
Translation: “I like to sow in you seeds of doubt in my attractiveness, competence and personality. If you dare to speak out about my affair, I will definitely put you in your place so that you are afraid to lose me. I assure you, the problem is not at all my duplicity. This is your inability to remain self-confident, while I constantly humiliate you, compare you with others, and in the end I will leave you for the sake of someone better. ”
The construction of love triangles and the creation of harems are the forte of the daffodil. Robert Green, author of The Art of Seduction, mentions a “seductive aura,” which provokes a fierce sense of competition among potential partners. Triangulation tactics give malignant daffodils a perverted sense of power over their victims. Abusers actively provoke jealousy from their partners in order to control and make them crazy when they finally react. If the victim accuses the daffodil of infidelity, she immediately receives the label of uncertain, controlling and jealous. Abuzer thus removes suspicion in order to continue to enjoy the attention, praise and stroking of his ego.
Remember, for someone who has something to hide, any question seems like an interrogation. Daffodils often become furious, close sharply and prohibitively defend themselves when faced with evidence of their betrayals.
3. “YOU ARE TOO TOO SENSITIVE / TOO ACUTELY REACTIVE”
Translation: “It’s not that you are too sensitive, but that I am insensitive, callous and unempatic. I do not care about your emotions when it is not profitable for me. Your negative reactions spur me on and bring me pleasure, so please continue. I like to humiliate you for a normal reaction to my insults. ”
Whether you are a sensitive person or not does not matter when it comes to psychological or physical abuse. In healthy relationships, there is always room for feelings and emotions, there is a right to express them, even if the partners do not match. Abuzer, on the other hand, tends to focus excessively on your so-called sensitivity and claim that you are overreacting. Regardless of how sensitive you are, the daffodil will never take responsibility for his terrible actions.
4. “IT WAS JUST A JOKE. YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR
Translation: “I camouflage the violence I inflict with jokes, and I like it. It gives me pleasure to call you names, humiliate you, and then say that you lack a sense of humor to appreciate my perverted wit. Making you feel inferior, I can talk and do whatever I want with a smile and a crafty laugh. ”
According to Patricia Evans, author of How to Cope with Verbal Aggression, disguising cruel remarks and offensive comments as “harmless” jokes is a technique widely used in dealing with elements of psychological violence. It is maliciousness that distinguishes such communication from playful teasing, a prerequisite for which is mutual understanding, trust and enjoyment by all participants.