ERRORS OF MEN IN BED
How attentive and sensitive are you? Do you like to experiment, or prefer not to discuss something new? Check yourself on the list!
1. ATTENTION AND CARE
Here is a typical situation, incomprehensible to many men and understandable to every woman. The husband comes home in the evening, has dinner, watches TV or plays a computer game. Then he and his wife go to bed. He begins to “pester” her, and she says: “No, I don’t want to.” “Why?” He asks. “No mood,” the wife answers.
A man does not understand what is wrong, and is offended, or angry, or both.
If we ask a woman to explain why she does not strive for intimacy with her husband, then she will answer something like this: “He practically did not pay attention to me all day, we almost did not communicate, only on business. He did not say pleasant words to me, he was not interested in how I was doing, he did not show attention and tenderness all day — and now should I want intimacy with him? Why did it happen?”
Men often do not understand that for a woman making love is a way of expressing her feelings for a partner. This is not only physiology, but above all emotions and experiences. And when a woman did not have pleasant emotions and positive feelings during the day (or a longer time), then she does not have a desire or attraction.
It makes no sense to be angry or offended, this is how female sexuality works, and its features must be taken into account. How? Taking care of your wife not only in the evenings.
2. CREATION OF THE ATMOSPHERE
“I’m standing by the stove, cutting a salad. Then he comes up behind, hugs me and drags me to bed. I barely restrained myself so as not to hit his rolling pin on the forehead! ”
And in this story, what’s wrong? Of course, at the stage of romantic falling in love, most likely, the embrace of a man will be enough for an erotic response in a woman. But then, when emotions calm down, this will not be enough.
For many men, attraction turns on quickly, it’s enough to look at the woman you love, dream up a little, or remember something pleasant — and you’re done.
A woman needs more time and certain conditions in order to disconnect from worries and reconfigure to a wave of sensuality and intimacy. Grabbing her in an armful and dragging her to bed when she is not at all disposed to intimacy is hardly appropriate. Yes, it happens that attraction is included later in the process.
However, sexologists advise men not to rush and “kindle” the fire of desire from a partner gradually. For example, turn on pleasant music, gently touch your beloved hand, whisper tender words in her ear.
3. DO NOT JUMP THROUGH STEPS
“Repetition is the mother of learning,” so I have to say again about the prelude. The man feels very excited and wants to move on to the next stage, but the woman is not yet ready for sex, either psychologically or physiologically. A prelude is also needed so that the partner is aroused.
If you skip this step, then the woman may be unpleasant or even painful to have sexual intercourse. About an orgasm in such conditions, there is nothing to say. And the repetition of such unpleasant sensations may lead to the fact that with time she will not want to be close at all. Conclusion for men: foreplay is a must.
4. “HOW DO I WANT? HOW DO YOU WANT? ”QUESTIONS ARE IMPORTANT
One of the most frequent complaints to a sexologist from women is that a man cares only about his own satisfaction. This also applies to the process of intimacy, and its completion. A man focuses only on himself when choosing a position and other points.
Having received satisfaction, he is not interested in whether the woman is satisfied. Such an attitude towards a partner will gradually destroy sexual relations in a couple. The recommendation here can be only one – to be sensitive, to take into account the wishes and characteristics of each other’s temperament.
5. GENTLE WORDS AFTER NEARBY
And again about the well-known (but no less relevant) error. After an orgasm, a man feels relaxation, satisfaction and a desire to rest or even fall asleep. But a woman has energy, emotions and a desire not to distance herself from her beloved, but, on the contrary, to continue to experience connection and intimacy.
Therefore, when after intimacy a man turns away and falls asleep, the partner is unpleasant. The stronger sex needs to know about it and be sure to give a few minutes after the completion of sexual intercourse to gentle stroking, kisses, affectionate words.
6. SOMETHING WENT WRONG? TALK ABOUT THIS
Only fictional supermen are unaware of sexual problems; real living men have glitches and misfires. A man is not a sexual machine; he has emotions, mood, well-being, health, and something may go wrong. Due to stereotypes and incorrect attitudes, men are ashamed of problems with erection, premature ejaculation and other similar situations. Because of feelings of shame and other negative experiences, men do not want to speak on these topics with either their wife or a specialist.
The failure caused by a coincidence will go away by itself, and everything will return to normal. But when repeating the problem, you need to talk about it with your partner, and also consult with a psychologist-sexologist.