6 MEN’S BEDDIES
Sex enlightenment in our country is still confused with debauchery, and children often get information about this not from their parents, but from school folklore. Many men consider themselves Ases of bedding – but their ideas about sex often have nothing to do with reality.
What stereotypes prevent men from being truly good lovers? Let’s try to make out the most common of them.
1. PERCEPTION OF PORNOGRAPHY AS A LEARNING AID
The prevalence and accessibility of pornographic video and print products has led many teenagers and young people to consider the script of sexual relations shown in them to be the norm. The reality turns out to be completely different: living women do not look at all like actresses in studio lighting, intricate poses bring nothing but bewilderment, and non-standard practices deliver partners not promised from the screen unearthly pleasure, but disgust and pain.
A much more productive way to increase your competence in intimate matters is to study modern views on the anatomy and physiology of sex and, of course, a sincere willingness to focus on the desires of the second participant in the process, rather than pornographic “standards”.
2. DIVISION OF SEX ON “PRESENT” (Sexual Act) and “Fake” (Everything Else)
Reducing the whole variety of sexual practices to penis-vaginal contact is a direct way to turning intimate relationships into a dull “obligatory”. Touching, kisses, affection, all kinds of sex toys – all this has no less, but for many, much more importance than sexual intercourse itself.
There are a lot of ways to get and give pleasure, and to follow certain social “norms” in a case involving only two would be at least strange.
3. DURATION OF FRICTIONS AS AN INDICATOR OF QUALITY OF SEX
Quite often, the time during which a man can continue intercourse, restraining ejaculation, is considered as a criterion for his solvency in bed.
Meanwhile, women do not always equate the duration of frictions and the quality of sex.
If a partner who is keen on achieving “records” forgets to listen to her partner’s reaction, not noticing how her arousal decreases and her vaginal lubrication dries up, protracted coition can cause discomfort and even microtrauma of the vaginal mucosa.
4. SEARCH FOR A “UNIVERSAL” METHOD FOR SATISFACING A PARTNER
This stereotype is the result of another common belief among men: that all women are leading and feeling in some kind of “one model”. Of course, this is not so: all people are different, and the sexual sphere, like any other, reflects a variety of personal characteristics and preferences.
The fact that the previous partner of a man preferred certain poses or affection does not oblige the next to follow the same “program”. This means that in order to achieve mutual pleasure, it is important to consider not the abstract preferences of “women in general”, but the wishes of that particular girl with whom intimate relations are being built at the moment.
5. MYTHOLOGY AROUND FEMALE ORGASMA
The low level of knowledge about the physiology and anatomy of the female reproductive system gives rise to a whole series of myths about how the “right” female orgasm should be.
Someone demands a vaginal orgasm from a partner and stubbornly searches for the “G-spot” – although in fact during the intercourse the stimulation of the inner part of the clitoris occurs, so the concept of “vaginal orgasm” in principle looks doubtful. Having read about the prevalence of “simulated discharge”, someone is looking for signs of a “real orgasm” – instead of wondering why a woman even needed to use acting skills in bed.
The truth is that an orgasm, like other bodily manifestations, is deeply individual and depends on many factors – primarily psychological properties.
6. INCOMPATIBILITY OF ROMANTIC AND CONTRACEPTION TALKS
In the 21st century, there are still people who believe that talking about measures to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancies “kills” all passion. It is easy to guess that most of the risks in neglecting contraception are borne by women – and how many will feel quite calm with a partner who puts her health at risk?
Perhaps it’s worth overcoming the constraint and discussing precautions in advance so that at the most crucial moment both participants can feel confident and direct their attention to receiving pleasure, and not to worrying about the possible consequences.